Why Perfectionism Makes You Unhappy
Have you ever been around a perfectionist? Probably. Their behavior is quite interesting and sometimes even entertaining. Perfectionists have a need to strive for perfection in everything they do. From their work to organizing their stuff, everything has to be in the right place.
They don’t want their coffee cup turned slightly to the right. The cup should be centered, perfectly centered. The perfectionist mind goes to these extremes.
“The importance of efficiency is often forgotten by perfectionists.”
-Ismael Diaz Lazaro-
Why am I a perfectionist?
There are many reasons why people develop perfectionist personalities. Perfectionism is often even considered a syndrome: “perfectionism syndrome ” or “obsessive-compulsive personality disorder”.
Some experts believe that the cause of perfectionism in humans may be genetic. Other experts think it’s likely due to environmental factors like:
- Their self-esteem depends on constant praise.
- They have been humiliated during childhood and want to be socially accepted.
- Their parents are very authoritarian.
- While growing up, they were surrounded by successful people and have not been successful themselves.
- They have a very low tolerance for failure.
- They are aware that society is extremely competitive.
From birth, we are exposed to constant stimuli that shape us for the rest of our lives. Even if we don’t think about it , we are easily influenced and past situations have an effect on us.
The society we live in – with all its norms, laws, trends, visions of the world – makes us want to be better than others. Failure is not appreciated. Society believes that success is true happiness. But can we really live with this pressure? It’s here where being a perfectionist starts to become a problem.
Perfection doesn’t make me better
Always being right, doing everything right, never straying from the straight path – none of this will make you better. Understand that the more you try to be a perfect person, the less you will be.
Humans are not perfect and we should embrace and accept our imperfections as part of us. They make us who we are. Only when we embrace our imperfections will we find perfect happiness, because forcing ourselves to be something we are not will not make us happy. All it will do is frustrate and stress us.
But what does everyday life look like for a perfectionist? For starters, we’ll tell you that they constantly live with low self-esteem. So much so that even the praise of other people cannot make them feel better.
Guilt, pessimism and obsession are three words that define them perfectly. Because they will never achieve what they want, because absolute perfection is impossible to achieve. This will often cause them to become depressed, as the disappointments and frustrations just keep coming.
They become very rigid and cannot be spontaneous. Nothing about them is more natural; they become stiff, without any elegance.
Like many other syndromes , perfectionism can also be overcome, as long as the person is aware that this attitude will not bring him happiness.
When they are aware that they have a problem, that their obsession with perfection is the result of the pressure being placed on them, they will be ready to take the first step towards acceptance.
It is true that striving to improve yourself is actually very positive. We should all learn to be better, but we should never fall victim to perfectionism.
We should embrace imperfection, give everything we can, but without becoming obsessed with achieving things we will never be able to achieve.
