Trust Is Not Having To Know Everything

Trust is like giving the most delicate gift you could give: your heart. Trust is a precious commodity, a treasure that must be presented with care, because it is the most beautiful aspect of friendship and the strongest bond in a relationship. You don’t need to know everything about the person because the connection you have with them is exceptional. Trust is necessary to develop intimacy.

This topic goes beyond the field of psychology. It is an emotional force that shapes our social behavior – so much so that, according to philosophy and sociology,  the trust observed in humans is much more authentic and revealing than the trust observed in animals. Animals trust other members of their species through simple, instinctive behavior. People sometimes do it consciously, often using a selective filter based on past experience.

Trust is a positive emotion that guarantees the strength of a bond. Few things can better define specific personality types than the way people trust each other. Low self-esteem, a traumatic childhood, or an experience of betrayal can make you more reluctant to trust others.

Difficulty giving trust is emotionally draining

One of the psychological and evolutionary benefits of trust is that it allows us to temporarily turn on our instincts out of self-defense, insecurity, and fear. There are few things that cause more emotional distress than always taking a defensive stance,  afraid of being hurt or betrayed at any moment.

Trusting someone means removing this insecurity in order to simplify the personal relationship. You no longer see the other person’s behavior as a threat and  you begin to assume that your interactions with him will be positive going forward, that he will not do anything that will hurt you, that he will lend  you a helping hand, that he will always be willing to share his light with you and offer you guidance.

Trust means you don’t have to know everything about your partner, relative, or friend. It means you don’t need any explanation. It means that you see sincerity in their eyes,  that their spirit is in harmony. There is no demand, control, or the constant need for confirmation between the two of you.

Remember that the brain needs to simplify things and rather be able to navigate daily tasks without risk. It needs precise emotional balance and trust is the best weapon in this regard. When you think about it  , we’ve all put ourselves on autopilot at one time or another and trusted that nothing bad was going to happen.

We all blindly trust that the doctor knows what he or she is doing and is able to help us. We all trust that when we leave the house, death is not lurking everywhere. If we did not activate this autopilot, we would develop neurotic behavior that would completely disconnect us from reality and destroy our equilibrium.

If you want people to trust you, you have to trust them

We admit it’s hard to trust someone again when they’ve betrayed you. It is as if he has torn a piece out of you, like Shylock  in  The Merchant of Venice  who asks for a pound of flesh for payment. It’s a deep, permanent scar that often prevents you from getting close to someone again.

The disappointments that hurt the most are the disappointments caused by the people closest to you. But worst of all, this sense of mistrust extends to other areas of your life. You lose your trust in practically everyone until you become permanently phobic, a ghost pushed into the most isolated corners of society by an eternal sadness.

Trusting again is the key to vital intelligence

When some people have been betrayed, they think things like ‘ I will never trust anyone again. People are hurtful, indifferent and selfish’.

These kinds of thoughts cause irreversible chaos in your life, whether you like it or not. Humans have a genetic and evolutionary predisposition to bond with others. We trust to create bonds; to strengthen ourselves psychologically, intellectually and emotionally; to develop vital intelligence.

Vital intelligence is the unconscious drive for survival and self-actualization, in which trust in ourselves and in others is the most powerful source of encouragement. Because eventually, whether we like it or not, we have to open ourselves up to someone and embrace that person as they are and then we will be able to find ourselves again.

Few things in life are more satisfying than that.