Theory Of Mind Is The Key To Connection

Theory of mind is a social-cognitive skill that allows you to connect with others. This skill goes far beyond simply believing you know what someone else is thinking or feeling at any given moment. Theory of mind allows you to understand that what others feel and think can be very different from what you are experiencing at the same time.

Gregory Batenson, a psychologist and anthropologist, introduced this concept and gave us the key to understanding much of our social behavior. Theory of mind allows you to realize that the people around you have thoughts and beliefs that are separate from your own.

So humans, like many animals, are obliged to predict the behavior of others. You need to be intuitive about what other people are thinking or feeling so that you can adjust your behavior appropriately. We are talking about a series of very advanced cognitive processes, a kind of advanced technology on an emotional level.

Theory of mind is the most important social-cognitive ability

We often talk about empathy as the essential ability to enable human connection. It is true that empathy is a kind of social glue that helps us connect and understand other perspectives. It is also perfectly correct to say that theory of mind is actually much more important to social relationships than empathy.

Empathy helps you to know that other people may feel the same as you, while Batenson’s theory makes you understand that your reality and mine may be very different. Theory of mind helps you understand that someone is lying to you, for example. It also allows you to know that you could react very differently from someone else to the same stimulus.

All these processes are essential for social relationships. The brain does an incredible job of enabling people to survive, adapt, and connect with others in meaningful ways.

Your brain is a prediction machine

People often compare the brain to a computer. They are like a kind of prediction machine with one main goal: to reduce the uncertainty around you. A study by Dr. John Anderson at the University of Michigan shows that the predictive nature of the brain explains why theory of mind is so important in social situations.

However, people need to predict more than just the behavior of those around them. It is also important to understand their intentions, knowledge, beliefs and emotions. If you can do that, you can adjust behavior to those intuitive factors in mind.

It is interesting to note that animals also have this advanced ability. For example, some fascinating studies found that chimpanzees can anticipate the behavior of certain individuals. They know how to mislead potential rivals and even enable proactive behavior that benefits the group.

Does everyone have this ability?

Human development studies show that skills related to theory of mind appear in children around the age of four. That’s when children begin to have more abstract and sophisticated thoughts. They begin to understand that other people also have intentions, willpower, and different thoughts and opinions.

On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that in certain circumstances people might lack these skills. Researcher Simon Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge has conducted numerous studies on theory of mind and autism.

His research suggests that people with autism spectrum disorder have serious shortcomings when it comes to theory of mind. For example, we know that children and adults with autism exhibit certain empathic behaviors. They perceive the pain and concerns of others. However, they seem to have trouble anticipating the behavior of others.

They also find social interactions confusing and difficult because they cannot sense people’s reactions. They have a hard time understanding that other people may feel, think, and react differently than they do.

Patients with schizophrenia are in a similar situation. It is very difficult for them to connect with others. Distinguishing between their own mental state and that of others is also difficult for them.

Theory of mind for survival

John Locke once said,  “Man always forgets that human happiness is a disposition of the mind, not a condition of circumstances. This universe of the brain is one of the most fascinating subjects, but also one of the most complex.

Humans and other mammals have the ability to connect with each other in order to understand each other. As a result, they are better able to adapt to their environment and ensure that they continue to live.

However, there is one curious thing when it comes to theory of mind. This ability allows you to better understand other people and anticipate behaviors, needs, and thoughts in order to respond accordingly.

Yet the end goal is not always noble. Thanks to theory of mind you can also manipulate and mislead people. In short, it’s up to each of us to use this incredible ability for good, not evil.