The Sweet Taste Of Romantic Love
Lawyers – especially those who specialize in employment law – swear by the saying ‘the devil is in the details’, because sometimes a single word can completely change the interpretation, and thus the meaning and implications, of a legal text. Romantics, for their part, are also well aware of the importance of the small details: ‘Paradise reveals itself in the details’, they used to say.
No one knows exactly when the fear and allergy to romance started to spread. Today it seems almost everyone cringes at the very thought of being called corny, corny, or (hopelessly) naive. We fail to realize that the classic romantic ideal doesn’t necessarily have to be so stylish or tacky, and that preprinted valentines represent far from its pinnacle. As in all areas of life, it is also a matter of finding the right balance.
The crucial difference between clichéd and authentic romantic expression is artificiality. Characterless, is an embellished, forced poem full of big words, instead of – in all openness, honesty and modesty – simply telling you how you feel. Banal, is any gesture of feigned affection that actually, or even covertly, seeks to force self-centered adoration. In short: with premeditated, narcissistically motivated, to cause commotion, instead of sincerely putting your so-called loved one in the limelight. Such actions are, at worst, vulgar and opportunistic vain, because they are — in a devious, sophisticated way, after the greater honor and glory of the person who at that moment should be thanking his, or her, partner, and admire. In that sense it is the upside-down world , and thus ridiculousness at its best.
Romance gives color to life
Vanilla ice cream is vanilla ice cream, no matter where you buy it or order it. But if you serve it with a sprinkle of finely chopped pistachios, and pour a delicately curled chocolate dressing over it, your mouth suddenly, and spontaneously, is watering. Purely in terms of culinary-sensory experience, you will also enjoy it extra. You feel comforted, pampered, pampered, valued. The simple ice cream is thus transformed into a sentimental expression, and symbol, of (your) love (for each other).
Subtle elements that, strictly speaking, are not necessary at all – from a functional point of view – sometimes allow all kinds of emotions in the bud and in the bud to blossom, in our subjective experience. They transform what appears to be an average situation, or time, into a unique moment. An immortalized memory that will remain deeply etched in our minds for years to come, and that moves us – again and again – when we think back on it later.
The domain par excellence in which romanticism has always reigned supreme, and which is also the most romanticized , is the universal prototype of intimate couple relationships. Anyone who has ever ventured into poetry himself probably did so out of an irresistible infatuation. The amorous golden combination of flowers, chocolates and love letters is therefore closely associated with romantic love – as oxygen for highly flammable passion between two passionately lurking lovebirds.
A romantic is someone who can color life. Not that love depends on romance, but it does rise, through her, and get extra glow and shine on the cheeks, thanks to her. She creates unforgettable experiences and turns a fleeting and elusive moment into a joyful event.
The fear of being (too) romantic
A romantic detail is – briefly summarized – an unambiguous declaration of love, which explicitly shows and shows how much the other person means to you, or vice versa. It gives a normally common gesture, word or object, extra charge, and weight. It is a sign of special interest and concern, and a willingness to glorify and revere the person concerned. It often comes as somewhat of a surprise, and imparts uplifting satisfaction and fulfillment to both the giver and the receiver .
However, a lot of people are very careful, or reserved in their love. They do not want – which may be surprising – for the other person to discover, or realize, how much they love them, and what they would do for him or her. They approach love from an extremely pragmatic and integral-systematic perspective, in the same way that a skilled car mechanic works. No frills, no exaggerations, no show. They cannot be accused of trivialities or empty, meaningless courtesies. They are not guilty of dramatic flaunting and boasting, and do not have to be theatrically nice or ‘prove’ their affection.
They place more intrinsic value on actually putting their love into practice: mutual support, understanding, nonviolent communication, etc. But they do not believe that love dances to the tune of lavishly composed violin music, or thrives best in fumes of expensive perfume and seductive whispered, rehearsed sentences.
The dynamics of human interaction are fluid and unpredictable, without rigid formulas. Still, it’s very charming when someone – especially for us – takes the trouble to surprise us, to show us and know that we are valued. And being able to put a genuine smile on someone’s face – through a small, appreciative detail – is always a joyful privilege, too. Romance is the melody that turns a collection of (separate) words into a swinging ballad.
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