Symptoms Of Experiential Avoidance Disorder

Perhaps you are someone who flees from their own negative thoughts and feelings for fear of the pain they may cause. These are symptoms of experiential avoidance disorder, and in this article we’ll tell you what you can do to prevent them.

We live in a “happiness culture,” where we must be happy at all costs, regardless of the situation. The problem is that we feel frustrated when we don’t reach that state. In turn, this makes us even more unhappy and disturbs us greatly.

Happiness is not permanent

The truth is that happiness, or our emotional well-being, never lasts. We cannot say “I am happy” to ourselves, because that is simply not true.

Happiness is not a way of life, but rather a state of being. It is much wiser to say to ourselves, “Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am not.” Emotions come and go depending on many different variables.

Trying to be permanently emotionally healthy is a fantasy that plunges us even deeper into suffering. For example, if we don’t feel anxious, sad, or painful, we double our discomfort.

The pressure we exert on ourselves when we say: “I must be good” or “I should be happy” is the perfect way for us to take us out on us feel at ease. It’s a paradox, but all emotional avoidance inevitably leads to an increase in those same emotions.

Imagine sitting in the middle of the ocean on a raft, surrounded by sharks. Someone says to you, “If you’re scared, you’ll fall into the sea with the sharks. So you should not be afraid.” What do you think will happen? Surely that will make you even more nervous! It would not be natural at all to inhibit fear in such a situation!

Therefore it is much more normal to accept that in this context it is the most logical that we will experience fear and apprehension. We have to show that fear and fear and get used to it if possible.

Experiential avoidance disorder is simply a tendency to constantly prioritize feeling good. People will behave in such a way that they try to achieve an immediate sense of well-being. We will explain it in more detail here.

What are the symptoms of experiential avoidance disorder

Using acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) rejects traditional diagnostic classification systems. At the same time, experts believe that our behavior in individual situations is the only element that needs to be analyzed and addressed.

Through this therapy, we can diagnose the psychopathology we are discussing today—experiential avoidance disorder.

Avoiding experiences is an inflexible pattern of behavior. It comes about through ineffective verbal regulation, meaning we try at all costs to avoid suffering. It’s about controlling the things that happen to us, along with the sensations, the feelings, and the conditions they create.

People try to get every situation completely under control. Sometimes they do this through drugs or alcohol. Any other form of avoidance that goes against our personal values will make us feel even more unhappy.

A rejection of the negative feelings

What happens is that someone with symptoms of experiential avoidance disorder systematically rejects all negative feelings. He does not want to experience or feel them under any circumstances. He says to himself things like:

• “Feeling negative emotions is horrible and painful.”
• “I should always be happy.”
• “I shouldn’t feel sad.”
• “What will others think when they see that I’m worried?”

All these thoughts prompt the person to try to control his or her negative emotions in the way he or she is able to. They are looking for a form of escape that is quick, easy and effective, in the short term.

The problem is that emotional control is transient. After a short time, the emotional discomfort returns, and often more intense.

Therefore, what the person with experiential avoidance disorder does is “put band-aids” on his or her emotions so that he or she doesn’t show how he or she really feels. At first it seems to work, but eventually the bandage falls off. As a result, the emotions will come out more intensely.

What can I do if I suffer from experiential avoidance disorder?

If someone suffers from experiential avoidance disorder and wants to break out of this endless cycle, you have to make them believe in the idea that suffering is part of life. It’s not that we want to suffer. We just have to accept that emotional discomfort is something that can happen to anyone, simply because of the simple fact that you are alive.

Life brings good and bad times. It is normal to experience different kinds of emotions during these times. For example, it doesn’t make sense to look for a new partner so as not to feel bad or alone when someone leaves you.

The healthy way to deal with this is to experience the sadness that these types of losses bring. This is how our brains process what has happened and allow them to learn from the experience.

If we use artificial plasters or do something to prevent us from suffering in the short term, all we will achieve is to bury that pain more deeply and ultimately increase our suffering in the long run.

We must embrace our demons

To combat the symptoms of experiential avoidance disorder, we must therefore embrace our demons. We must face our emotions and feelings, whatever they may be, and be willing to live with those emotions.

We know that fear or deep sadness are not pleasant emotions and of course we would rather not experience them. However, it is also true that life does not always turn out the way we want it to. Inevitably, there will be times when we have to experience unpleasant emotions.

A good way to start would be to say to yourself:

• “Today I feel anxious, but it doesn’t matter. Anxiety isn’t bad, it’s just not pleasant.”
• “I will embrace my sadness today and I will live with it. I don’t like it, but it won’t kill me.”

These kinds of thoughts are much more realistic and functional.

Move towards your goals

It is also important to know what our values ​​and goals are in life and to achieve them regardless of the emotions we feel. Emotions don’t have to limit us. It’s one thing to live with them and feel them when something happens to us, but quite another if they control us.

Emotions, whether positive or negative, can accompany us in our daily lives in the same way as a headache or a cold, or even the bad news we see or hear.

If we know what we want to do with our lives in the medium or long term, let’s work towards it. Let’s not get caught up in the temporary discomfort we may feel.

Get closer to your goals every day, whatever they may be. Only you can choose them. Let all your emotions, even negative thoughts, go with you. Once you make room for these and learn to live with them, they will no longer rule your life. They may even leave you alone for good.