Self-destructive Behavior In Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships generally involve a bond between two people. That bond is something you have to cultivate every day. This means that you have to spend a lot of time together, which can lead to conflict. If one or both partners engage in self-destructive behavior, it can eventually destroy the relationship.

dr. John Gottman is one of the pioneers when it comes to studying romantic relationships. After years of studying countless couples, he states that there are some clear patterns of self-destructive behavior that can accurately predict the failure of a relationship.

However, some relationships seem to be great. That has to do with a number of specific factors and behavior patterns, which can help predict how long a relationship will last and how good it will be. Regardless of the type of relationship, there should always be respect, affection, trust and communication.

If you’re in a relationship with those factors, you’ll probably be happy with it. While you may have an occasional argument or disagreement, it won’t be much of a problem. However, if you feel like any of those factors are missing, you may want to try working on those things with your partner.

Self-destructive behavior in a romantic relationship

As we mentioned above, certain self-destructive behavior patterns predict that a relationship will not last. In this article, we will talk about the behavioral patterns that seem particularly relevant and directly affect the basic factors that any healthy relationship should include, namely:

• respect
• affection
• to trust
• communication

contempt

Feeling contempt for your partner means that you see him as inferior to yourself. This can also lead to other behaviors such as humiliation, criticizing, insulting and simply disrespecting your partner.

If someone behaves this way towards you, the hard truth is that they don’t really love you. Noticing that makes you wonder if you should stay in the relationship.

Ignore

This is a very good example of extremely self-destructive behavior. Ignoring your partner when you’re arguing means closing your eyes to the fact that the person you supposedly love needs communication and wants to feel supported.

Being ignored can be experienced as very humiliating. In the long run, this affects self-esteem. A person may even come to believe that he does not deserve his partner’s attention because he has done something wrong.

Destroying individuality

When you’re in a relationship with someone who tells you who to be, what to want, and who to be friends with, they’re trying to destroy your individuality. When you love someone, you accept them for who they are. So if your partner tries to change you, they don’t really love you.

Dependence

It is very important to watch out for dependent behavior. Some people can’t break their relationship because they feel like they need the other person. They prefer to accept the constant criticism and indifference just so they don’t have to be alone.

However, that also acts as a reinforcement for the other partner, as they see how much the other person is dependent on them. This is also a very serious form of self-destructive behavior and it can be devastating to a relationship.

Never bother

You should always be sincere with your partner and be who you really are. However, there are also times when you have to give in. For example, if your partner wants you to go to an event with them, you can make the effort even if you don’t feel like it. Your partner should do the same for you. This is how you both show that you love each other.

Why do people stay in toxic relationships

People often engage in self-destructive behavior for far too long. However, you should not forget that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Therefore, it is good for you to be flexible and tolerant towards your partner.

The problems start when this keeps repeating itself and becomes something that defines your relationship. Then think carefully about how you could make this better. Would you hold your partner’s hand? Kiss him or her? To argue? The image that comes to mind will say a lot about what you really think about your relationship.

If you notice even minor signs of poisoning in your partner, you should weigh the pros and cons and be ready to end the relationship if the need arises.

Often people find it difficult to end the relationship because they are afraid of being alone. People are afraid that they will be left all alone, even though there are a lot of people around them to support them.

People also often fall back into certain thinking patterns, so that they still stay with their partner despite everything. They often think that their partner will change or that they will soon be replaced by a nicer person.

You should try to ignore those kinds of thoughts. They are simply a product of your deep fear of being abandoned and alone.

The best thing you can do is stop kidding yourself and look at things objectively. Observe your relationship. Once you do, you can try to make an informed decision to end the relationship or stay with your partner.