Resentment And The Pain It Causes

Resentment is a natural feeling for people. We have all felt resentment towards something or someone at one time or another. However, when we have these kinds of feelings, it’s important to make sure we don’t let them fester in us, like a poisoned arrow straight into our heart. This can only be bad for us and cause us even more pain than what initially aroused resentment in us.

We are all responsible for our own happiness and we all have the right to be happy. However, happiness is a personal choice. Everyone decides for himself whether he wants to live a life full of negative feelings like resentment or whether he has no problem pushing these feelings away, which makes him like an onion with all kinds of unhealthy layers that prevent him from seeing what goes deep. hidden inside him.

Resentment is a feeling that we can take advantage of even if it is felt in small measure. For example, it can keep us from trusting someone who has cheated us again.

However, if we allow resentment to become our ally and let it take control of our personality, we create a problem for ourselves that we didn’t have before, a problem for which there is no easy solution. When we feel resentment, we must first of all confront this feeling wisely and see it as an adversary. Resentment is not our friend and we don’t want it to be our friend.

How does a resentful person behave?

You can recognize resentful persons because they generally have the following characteristics :

• Their main emotion is anger. This is because of the pain they feel and think about, but which they do not express.

• They don’t want to talk about or with the person who arouses resentment in them.
• When they do interact with this person, they often talk to him in a dry or brutal way.
• They don’t make eye contact with the people who make them resentful.
• They systematically ignore any idea or suggestion that comes from the person they blame, even if deep down they know it was a good idea or suggestion. In this case, they would rather forgo good advice than admit that the person they blame was right. On the other hand, they will talk to this person when necessary, but in a very curt manner.
• They express their resentment through non-verbal communication. Their nervous system is activated in the same way as when faced with danger: fight or flight.

• They make mental notes of every situation where they felt they were being attacked or insulted, from the very first moment they were overcome with a sense of resentment the first time. These situations are their weapons for moments when the tense silence turns into an outspoken battle.

How does resentment affect your health?

People who are constantly walking around with feelings like resentment only generate more pain in themselves, rather than pain in others.

Physically, this emotional pain can cause blood pressure and heart rate to skyrocket, causing stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety go hand in hand with other symptoms, such as feeling listless, muscle tension and a feeling of drowning.

An actual downward spiral is like a mouse wheel; it leads nowhere. Therefore, we must learn to maintain our emotions, use our emotional intelligence and rid ourselves of painful feelings. We must do this for the sake of our physical and mental health. We must shed the heavy shield of negativity, which only wreaks havoc and causes unnecessary misfortune.

How can we overcome resentful feelings?

1. Initially, it is important to become aware of the fact that you are feeling resentment. If we are unable to admit that we have a problem, we can never overcome it.
2. Learn to express your emotions and talk to the person who stirs resentment in you about what is bothering you.
3. Learn to forgive. Be careful, we all make mistakes from time to time. That is why you have to learn to be a little less strict and a little more understanding towards others and of course towards yourself.
4. Learn to think positively. No, it is indeed not easy and yes, it requires a lot of effort, but it is very enriching. As we begin to change our way of thinking and see things in a different way, we will naturally notice this in our minds and in our health. If we take things slow and learn to worry less while allowing events and problems to unfold naturally, then things will get better at some point.

None of these steps are easy, but with a little effort we can help ourselves and free ourselves from negative feelings like resentment. Using our emotional intelligence, we can laugh, listen and begin to change little by little. Usually the fact that you want it is a sign that you can actually do it.