I’m Single, Not Alone
Make no mistake, I’m single, but I don’t feel empty or lonely. So don’t feel sorry for me, don’t pigeonhole me and don’t try to find me a partner. I am exactly where I want to be. Because being single is so much smarter than sharing your life with the wrong person.
We all know that wanting or having to be single at some point is no longer well understood by society. Even Aristotle has said that only Gods and beasts like to be alone. But French moralists of the eighteenth century, such as the Marquis of Vauvenargues, explained that solitude is to the soul what diet is to the body: something we should all practice every now and then.
We should all learn to be single and enjoy it every now and then. The people who are unable to do this often even find it difficult to fill their own empty spaces, to heal their fears, and are often inclined to assuage their insecurities in the worst way: by using others or themselves. to connect with the first person they encounter.
They do everything they can to protect themselves from the demons of loneliness and their inability to be alone with themselves. But of course this is not the right way to deal with it.
I’m single but I’m happy
“I’m single, but I’m doing very well.” Even though this phrase is used more and more, it still shows that a person feels a certain need to justify himself, to show that although he goes through life alone, without a partner or someone else by his side, this is a pleasant being alone. A self-chosen experience that he enjoys, even if others don’t understand it.
Times change, that’s for sure. But the image of a single woman is still not seen the same as that of a single man. It’s as if time is speeding up for women, as if they are forced to do everything as fast as possible just to adapt to the socially imposed biological clock. They need to have a good job, find a good partner and become a super mom.
But as we said, times are changing and women don’t necessarily have to be obsessive about finding a partner anymore. Many prefer to be found. Others leave their biological clocks behind to follow their own mental and emotional compasses. They can of course feel complete with a partner, but when their relationship comes to an end, they are still able to follow their own path. Because they are responsible for themselves and not afraid of being alone. They can find themselves again and this is always healthy and reassuring.
You are not alone, you are surrounded by life
When we have a single boyfriend, we always try to find opportunities to pair him up. We say it’s not good to be alone, that falling in love is always worth it and that life is so much more beautiful when you go through it hand-in-hand with someone else.
But our single friends might say ‘ I’m single and happy like this’ or ‘ I don’t want anything to do with it’. Some will understand this, but most will see it as strange, because normally loneliness is not seen as a positive thing, but rather as an unfortunate setback.
If you let it sink in for a moment, you will realize that in reality none of us are ever alone, as we are all surrounded by life. And most of us belong to a group: family, friends, acquaintances etc. Partners don’t always save us from loneliness and that’s not what they are for. Sometimes they even bring us closer to the darker sides of loneliness, like emotional loneliness for example.
No one is alone if he learns to love himself. We all live in our minds, because thinking, dreaming, projecting and feeling are not solitary actions. We are dancers in our own inner worlds. We are healers of wounds, executors of forgiveness, and architects of our own destiny.
So make no mistake, I’m not alone, because I’m bound to life, because I have hope. I am no longer afraid of fear. I am a contented inhabitant of my own inner world and I look to the future without fear because I know how to take advantage of the present.
We should all be able to enjoy selected moments of solitude every now and then, where silence and inner peace ripen the fruits of the soul.
