How Do You Overcome The Fear Of Being Criticized?

Have you ever felt judged? How did you feel then? You may have developed a fear of being criticized after a difficult situation. Nobody likes to be judged, especially when people judge us on something that is hard for us to digest.

However, there are different kinds of criticism. Not all criticism is bad and it’s vital to keep that in mind. Constructive criticism, for example, can help us improve some aspects of our lives. Although we are not always receptive to it, it is important to take constructive criticism into account in order to grow as a person.

Fear of being criticized

When people criticize us, we often see it as a personal attack. Some people see reviews as painful and even embarrassing. This can make them defensive, as they want to protect themselves.

Have you ever thought about why someone told you what they did? There must be a reason! Instead of immediately getting on the defensive, think about why that person is criticizing you and what you can learn from it.

If you calm down and talk about it, you may find that criticism can help you improve various aspects of your behavior and thought processes.

On the other hand, this person could be wrong. If this is the case, it’s important to speak your mind assertively rather than agreeing with everything the other person says just so they won’t judge you.

Doing so could make someone feel like they can manipulate you into thinking what they want and lower your self-esteem.

Accepting criticism the right way has its advantages

The first step to help you overcome the fear of being criticized is learning to accept criticism. This is something you can achieve by reacting calmly before being judged. The benefits of keeping a cool head when someone criticizes you include:

• You learn to control your negative emotions.
• You don’t feel attacked.
• This also helps you learn to detach your self-esteem from it.

Staying calm when someone is criticizing you can help you absorb the criticism more efficiently. This has many advantages, including:

• It allows you to evaluate whether the judgment is true and helpful, or whether the person is just trying to manipulate you.
• If it is helpful, you can learn from it and not ruin your relationship with that person.
• If it’s helpful, but the person didn’t express it correctly, you can show them the right way to say things.
• Criticism can be an attempt at manipulation. In that case, the other person will feel uncomfortable if you keep a cool head.
• By not allowing yourself to be flooded with anger, you are not showing your weaknesses.
• If you stay calm, you reassure yourself that you are in control of your own behavior.
• If you’ve made a mistake, don’t be afraid to admit it. However, if you haven’t done anything wrong, please acknowledge it politely.

• If the other person continues to argue, be careful not to fall into that trap. This allows us to succeed in an unpleasant situation.

What negative thoughts interfere with overcoming the fear of being criticized?

There are several thoughts that can go against you when you try to face your fear of being criticized. By adjusting these thoughts, you can stop worrying about criticism.

Thoughts about yourself

• “I messed up again, I’m such a sucker.”
• “I am so ashamed that I failed again.”

Thinking this way makes you believe that you have to be the best at everything and that you are a failure if you ever make a mistake.

You need to turn these thoughts into rational thoughts like, “I think I made a mistake, but first I’m going to figure out what I did wrong. I have the right to make mistakes. This doesn’t make me a bad person, it just makes me human.”

Thoughts about the situation

“This is such an uncomfortable and humiliating situation… I can’t handle this, I have to go.”

Well, the belief behind this phrase is that things should always be easy and comfortable. They have to go the way you want them to go. However, this should be the rational thought: “This situation is uncomfortable, there is no doubt about it. But should I really run away? Wouldn’t it be better if I faced it?”

It’s important that you don’t make running away from the situation your first option when the going gets tough. Remember that difficult situations are the very ones that could help you grow.

Thoughts about the other person

“You humiliate me. All you want to do is show my mistakes.”

This makes you believe that bad people deserve to be punished. Also, this makes you believe that others should always give you what you want and need. If they don’t, they are useless to you.

You can change that thought and make it a more rational thought. For example, “I can’t read people’s minds, so I can’t really know their true intentions. What if they just want to hurt me? If that’s the case, I have to remember that people aren’t always the way they should be. I’m not perfect either.”

As you can see, it is possible to overcome your fear of being criticized. To do this, however, you need to change certain thoughts so that you can accept criticism and respond calmly.