Distrust In A Love Affair

Distrust in a love relationship is like cancer. It often goes unnoticed at first, but it quickly spreads. It is one of the main factors that, if we are not careful, can worsen and even destroy the bond between two people.

An important idea regarding distrust is that, like trust, it is something we learn. It is not a feeling that comes out of nowhere, but rather is the result of something that comes from experience.

In other words, the baggage you carry with you when you start a relationship partly explains how trusting you are towards your partner.

In normal scenarios, mistrust arises in a love affair when one or both members seem unstable. However, in more extreme cases, such neurosis is present even without sufficient reasons to be suspicious. In these cases, regardless of the situation and its causes, mistrust is an issue that needs to be addressed and resolved.

Why mistrust arises in a love relationship

The most common cause of mistrust in a romantic relationship is infidelity. Yet that is not the only situation that breeds a lack of confidence. Any act that disappoints the other paves the way for distrust to develop. The main causes of mistrust in a love relationship are:

• Finding out that the partner is constantly lying.
• Broken promises. The other does not manage to keep his promises.
• The other does not seem to know himself enough. One minute he likes something, the next he stops. He doesn’t know what he wants.

• The other struggles to face the consequences of his actions. He is evasive or irresponsible.

However, there are also many situations where the distrust seems to be based on nothing at all. These are cases where there is a tendency to distrust. The main reasons for these scenarios are the following:

• Insecurity. One of the members of the relationship doesn’t think he’s good enough.
• Being cheated on and not handling it well.
• Coming from a family where there was deceit and mistrust.
• Having cheated someone and unknowingly wanting to be punished for this.
• Over-dependence and separation anxiety.
• Prejudice against men or women.

Check yourself

Once the mistrust has set in in the relationship, it’s not easy to let it go. However, it is not impossible. It just requires a significant amount of work and persistence. It’s worth it anyway, because there’s no better reason to fight than for love.

The best way to start is to find out why there is mistrust in the relationship. It is essential to determine whether the reasons for the mistrust are objective or whether they stem from neurosis.

It is also important to think about the expectations you have of your partner. Everyone fails. If you think that the other person has to be perfect before you can trust them, then you are wasting your time.

Trust does not arise because the other person never does anything wrong. Rather, it has to do with the assurance that if he does something wrong, he is not doing it intentionally or with malicious intent.

Dialogue: the only real solution

Having an open dialogue is always the ideal solution for mistrust in a love relationship. This, of course, poses a paradox, as you have to trust each other to enter into a dialogue. However, it is the only way to come to an agreement or to finally realize that the relationship must end.

Having a dialogue means talking calmly and lovingly about the reasons behind your distrust. The key lies in focusing on yourself instead of the other. This dialogue is not to blame each other, but to share with the other how you felt because of his words and actions. The goal is to help the other person understand where our suffering comes from.

Dialogue also implies the need to listen without automatically going into everything. Taking the time to process what the other person is saying, without judging them. When there is love, communication strengthens the relationship and helps to find a way to move on.

In fact, if dialogue is impossible and distrust persists, it is clearly a sign that the best option is to end the relationship once and for all.