5 Communication Mistakes Couples Often Make

5 Communication Mistakes Couples Often Make

Couples make mistakes in communication. Some mistakes last for years. They start with small things but eventually become habits. And unfortunately, they prevent people from recognizing and solving many problems that can arise between two people who love each other.

Communication is the foundation of romantic relationships. After all, it is the way in which you express your feelings, thoughts and desires. When the communication is good, everything else runs much easier. However, when communication is distorted or broken, new problems can begin to grow in other areas of the relationship.

In relationships, most communication errors occur out of fear or due to immaturity. You no longer see the other as a partner. You even adopt a defensive attitude towards him or her. This is very common. So it’s a good idea to evaluate yourself. Check if this is the case with you. It will save you a lot of pain if you determine what is happening in time.

Communication Mistakes Couples Often Make

1. Using absolute terms

Thinking in absolute terms is a form of extreme thinking that we use in conversations. It can cause a lot of damage. This attitude includes an egocentric view of the world. It also means that we are unable to understand how nuanced life is. In other words, thinking in absolute terms is having a hard time understanding and accepting points of view that differ from your own.

It is one of the most common communication errors we see in relationships. This error is also closely associated with issuing ultimatums. “If you love me, you won’t make me feel bad.” Just as if human beings aren’t full to the brim with contradictions and contradictions. One example is when one person imposes certain behaviors on the other person. You  “must” be like  that. You  “must” do  this or that.

Speaking in absolute terms

2. Selective thinking or tunnel vision

When you interpret everything from a single point of view, you are using selective thinking or tunnel vision. Unfortunately, this view is also negative. To you, everything about that other person who is important to you seems bad, even the good things.

Tunnel vision is actually one of the most common communication mistakes people make in their relationships. It is also one of the most damaging errors. You then feel exactly the need to always improve your significant other. Constantly wanting to point out how weak or wrong they are. It is a classic communication style of people who are unable to confront the real underlying problem.

3. Thinking and reacting in extremes

Extremism in communication is like thinking in absolute terms. However, here we are talking more about emotional reactions. Body language, facial expressions and emotions are also part of communication. In this case, you react to every small problem as if it were a real tragedy. Even the most futile little subject will end up in tears or screams.

Extreme thinking and reacting indicate a lack of self-control. There is also a good chance that a person who communicates in extremes will equate their partner with the mother or the father. It wasn’t there for them when they were a kid. This will eventually stop the couple from keeping the lines of communication open and genuine. It also hinders growth and independence.

Thinking and reacting in extremes

4. Making Assumptions

Is this one of the most common communication errors occurring in your relationship right now? We are talking about when one person in a relationship thinks they know what the other person is thinking. Their assumption is based on the idea that they know their partner better than anyone else. They think they even know the intentions and thoughts in their partner’s mind.

So you can already guess. Assumptions can lead to huge misunderstandings. It reflects a lack of confidence and may even indicate paranoia. You always try to read “between the lines”. It’s also a way to control people.

5. Paste labels

Labeling involves branding the other person in the relationship with a stereotype. This very often happens after a couple has had problems. We see it especially when one of them has made a mistake. From that moment on they are forever condemned to that box. They are then labeled “casual,” “negligent” or “irresponsible.” At least it’s a label. So that means it doesn’t take into account the fact that people have many facets and that we are constantly changing.

A wrong way of communication

These are just some of the widespread and harmful communication mistakes people make in relationships. The worst part is that they prevent you from understanding and trusting each other. Don’t let it get in the way of your love. 

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